I shared this article with my readers last year and I think it is still very healing to share and be vulnerable. I remember thinking I was so alone with my food and body issues. I learned that sharing and opening up was crucial to my healing and transformation. Enjoy!
I’ve been wanting to share this with you for a long time but I wasn’t ready. As I am creating the content for my new website, I’ve been reflecting on my inner food and body journey so that I can effectively connect and write to you in order to help you on your journey.
In March of 2009, I shared my struggle with my body image, food cravings, fears and worries that I wasn’t going to be able to lose the weight I put on while pregnant. I felt very vulnerable sharing my struggle but I also knew opening up would facilitate my transformation.
In April of 2009, I invested in a very high end coaching program with Karen Knowler begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting to help me take my business ideas, vision and mission to the stars and beyond. As a result of my laser focus, structure and accountability with time and money, and stepping powerfully into my Vision of who I really want to be in both my personal and professional life, my body has absolutely transformed. This is the first time I’ve ever invested in my business and life in such a profound way and the results are being felt on all levels in body, mind and spirit.
My body transformed because I knew exactly what I wanted it to look and feel like and I knew what it needed and how to get there. I shared my vision with my mentor and then set off to make it happen by eating the foods I know nourish my body and spirit and exercising my body in ways it thrives.
I haven’t weighed myself in 5 plus years so I can’t give you a number of pounds I’ve released but I can tell you that none of my clothes fit and that I’m getting a lot of attention about my appearance.
One other occasion in my food and body journey, I experienced a total body transformation. At that time, I was very devoted to my yoga practice and was studying to be a yoga teacher. My soul was shining and I was fulfilled by the spiritual food I was being fed in my practice and in my studies. The problem was I could not receive the attention about my appearance because I didn’t believe I deserved to be thin, strong, beautiful and radiant and I lived in fear and worry that I would put the weight back on.
And I did.
This time is different, although I feel fear at times that I’ll gain “it” back, I now truly trust and know my body like my very best friend.
What is “it” anyway?
Perhaps “it” is other people’s projections. It seems several times a week other women tell me how great I look or even worse “you look like a bag of bones” or “you’re thinner than you ever have been.” At first, I shrunk back and gave some excuse as to why I look the way I do now. It was hard for me to receive their compliments and their judgments.
Or is “it’ oscillating between fear and total body confidence. The old Amanda voice says “you need to control and sustain and maintain this body and if you don’t, you’ll be fat, unattractive and unlikable.” And the Total Body Confidence voice says “I love you no matter what size or shape you are. I love, honor, trust and respect my body and easily listen to you and nourish you. This is your true physique. You are living your life’s purpose, eating the best foods for you now and exercising in ways you adore so relax and enjoy your life!”
Or “it” is a result of not living your life’s purpose.
I don’t think I was fully living my life’s purpose before I chose to hire Karen.
Having the support of a mentor has been pivotal in this process. Now, I will never not have a mentor.
But I didn’t always believe this. Three years ago, I contacted Karen because I wanted to be mentored by her but she told me her fee and I was scared and did not value myself or my business to invest in it in such a bold way. So, I shrunk back into “I can do it on my own” and as a result was flailing along, wasting time, losing money and not fulfilling my life’s purpose on the scale I wanted to.
Now, I see my business journey as a very spiritual journey. In the yoga tradition, there is a Guru who leads the way to Enlightenment. I used to think that business wasn’t spiritual but now I know that your life’s purpose is your spiritual path and if you’re living your life’s purpose that is your business.
A mentor sees their client or student in their highest and utmost potential in body, mind and spirit and holds you accountable to your dreams and visions. At the same time, the mentor models boundaries, focus, integrity and lives in her highest and utmost potential. It is a chain of purity, devotion, honor and truth. Can you see that? It’s beautiful!
Is there someone you’ve wanted to work with? Someone you admire and believe in and have a gut feeling that if you were to hire them and invest in yourself, then your body and life would transform and morph into it’s true essence? If yes, I urge you to get out of your own way and follow your Spirit’s guidance. I believe you will be truly rewarded on all levels like I have been.
In love and radiance,
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